were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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