He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
