she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Two words: blizzard sex
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
