I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
