Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I seem to have left my pride at pride
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
