Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
