She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
