Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
