Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
