I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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