Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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