The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
