it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
