Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
