Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
