She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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