Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
