if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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