I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
