i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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