I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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