Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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