Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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