I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
