my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
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It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
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Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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