with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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