Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
