the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
