Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
This house was built for laser tag.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
