Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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