he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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