we're chasing vodka with high fives
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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