just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
