My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
