So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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