whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Your dad touched me again.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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