Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize