would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
