Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
