If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
