tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
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Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
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All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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