You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
