We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
