i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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