I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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