everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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