She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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