I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
