A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
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