it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize