Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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