im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
