just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
