I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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