the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
