i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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