Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
