She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.