what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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