You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow