you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat