did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.