I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.