Texts From Last Night

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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"

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  (423): my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead" http://tfl.nu/865j
  Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (1729)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  There was a lot of him and a little penis

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  (520): There was a lot of him and a little penis http://tfl.nu/hz43
  Replies (57) Good night (620) Bad night (6538)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.

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  (803): I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again. http://tfl.nu/aquc
  Replies (14) Good night (910) Bad night (4154)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.

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  (254): There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN. http://tfl.nu/m7t2
  Replies (35) Good night (7234) Bad night (1458)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.

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  (740): While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day. http://tfl.nu/7t04
  Replies (37) Good night (6019) Bad night (1665)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.

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  (201): Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it. http://tfl.nu/ciee
  Replies (10) Good night (2089) Bad night (667)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.

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  (215): Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver. http://tfl.nu/plce
  Replies (8) Good night (2193) Bad night (571)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.

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  (972): Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit. http://tfl.nu/pnw4
  Replies (9) Good night (2050) Bad night (675)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat

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  (615): We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat http://tfl.nu/d487
  Replies (11) Good night (803) Bad night (1987)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.

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  (806): There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night. http://tfl.nu/26q0
  Replies (4) Good night (458) Bad night (927)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.

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  (941): He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud. http://tfl.nu/s98m
  Replies (18) Good night (2356) Bad night (520)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.

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  (301): The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able. http://tfl.nu/bzys
  Replies (60) Good night (3999) Bad night (878)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later

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  (319): Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later http://tfl.nu/ccad
  Replies (5) Good night (807) Bad night (581)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Whats your number? 5 or more?

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.

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  (512): Whats your number? 5 or more? (973): Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/b76i
  Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (698)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.

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  (203): They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man. http://tfl.nu/uirl
  Replies (2) Good night (782) Bad night (271)

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