he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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