haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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